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By Myself

Raju at the gathering

Sometimes I feel like I have to be superman
Then, I think
Well, be superman
I can’t not do what needs to be done
I guess that’s what it means to be a man
The ability to create a plan and dedicate yourself to something

Through execution

To believe in yourself
When you have to be something you’ve never seen in yourself

I know what it’s like to have triple-digit outstanding amounts, a dollar in your account, and less than a quarter in your tank
Driving down the street on E – Filling out applications in places that said they needed help over the phone
Then see you say they’ll call you, and never hit yo phone

Yeah, I’ve felt out of touch
Out of space
Out of love
And still, all out of hate

I’ve felt frustrated at times
I’ve cried while listening to never would of made it
At times
I don’t want to wear my cape

How can I save a city when I can’t save myself

That’s it
I gotta save myself

I may not have it made
Or be paid, myself
But I gotta million dollar mind and a Billion dollar grind
Everything I need to pay myself

To know you need help, and not know where to go
So you open the book on the shelf

Psalm 61:2 When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to a rock that is higher than I am

While reading I gain strength, confidence, and health

Then I realized the reason I feel by myself.

I need to feel loved, by myself.

– Raju

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Raju Stop Violence

I’ve looked you in the face for hundreds of days
But today is my first time seeing you

I’ve laid next to you for hours
But today I felt you

Your glow is more of a Ray
Blinding me for the first time

You shine on me, even when I seek shade
Your Ray begins and ends my day

It may be the dimple in your chin when you smile
Or the way your upper live waves when you grin
Could it be the way joy jumps off your cheekbones
Or the curls of your afro?

I still remember your tiny toes and the arch of your feet
I still crave your hugs, wisdom, and critiques

Your ear from music, much better than mine
Your imagination and creativity goes places many search for but seldom find
Your love is a language I will never understand

Your love is a story too passionate to be written
So it’s more like a play
Never forgotten by those to whom it’s been given

Your mind holds the cure for cancer

The key to my heart is a complicated equation
You’ve created the algorithm and produced the answer
You are a radioactive dancer

Your Ray has more energy than the sun
Your features are more like world premiers
Your tears shed years of disappointment

Your laughter is selective and genuine
Your look has killed me and brought me back to life

You deserve better than me
So, being with me is settling
Identifying the potential in me
Loving me for the man I have potential to be

I realize I will never be perfect
But I know you make me better

I want to build ankhs with you
Then record it like the Huxtables

I don’t want to tell you I love you
I want you to hear it with your eyes
To see truth in my works and untold lies
To find happiness in our mutual sacrifice

Your heart is my greatest aspiration
Your satisfaction my number one priority
These things unknown before your Ray shun on me

I’ve been under dark clouds and spent long nights
Searching vigorously for light

Running from your Ray
Loosing synergy
Fighting fate
A battle I cannot win
Your Ray won’t allow me to wallow in shade

When I bask
Your Ray melts my pride and brings my solidarity to shame

Your Ray stimulates my cerebrum
With full control of my frontal lobe
Your Ray is in full control

Your light
The true author of this poem